Travel With Candace

I hate and I mean HATE mosquitoes.  I am completely covered with itchy bites and am sleeping horribly due to discomfort and fending them off for half the night.  I am starting to think there is some sort of mosquito conspiracy.  Consider the following:

• Number of bites - I believe I wake up with a number of bites that  is greatly disproportionate to the needs of the 5 or 6 mosquitoes that seem to bother me at night.  The mosquitoes around the house are pretty small and nimble.  This means they are pretty hard to kill, which sucks, but it also means they shouldn’t need that much of my blood to survive.  I say it’s gluttony or cruelty.
• Location of bites- The ankles, knees, feet, and elbows seem to be itchiest bite locations by far.  Coincidentally a large number of my bites  seem to be in these places, which also seem like they would be the least blood-rich and bite-worthy from the mosquito’s point of view.  I think they know what they’re doing and I say it’s cruelty in this case.
• Itchiness of bites - You may know that mosquito bites itch because of one’s allergic reaction to their spit (filled with digestive enzymes and anticoagulants) that they inject after piercing the skin.  I believe the itchiness of my bites is also disproportionate to the mosquitoes’ size.  Again they are small, which to me means they shouldn’t't have a whole lot of spit to spare.  I say they’re double-dosing me for fun.
• Generally unnecessary and annoying behavior - At night, while the others are attacking my lower extremities, one mosquito seems to buzz right around my head.  It is as if it is trying to distract me from sleep or heckle me by signalling that my perpetual itchiness will continue. This “head” mosquito often goads me into clapping really hard next to my ear in attempts to kill it.  That can be painful and I may be losing hearing as a result.  This mosquito also occasionally lands on my forehead or cheek causing me to reflexively slap myself in attempts to kill it.  That can be hurtful to one’s person and one’s pride.  I say it’s for little mosquito laughs.

So you can call me paranoid, but I think this interaction is based more on bloodsport than biological necessity on the mosquitoes’ part and that’s not cool.  I’m usually of the “Live-and-let-Live” camp, but I am making it my personal mission to kill as many mosquitoes as possible during my time here, even though I know I won’t make a dent in the general population.

So game on you little bastards - GAME ON!

Tags: rant, mosquitoes, Guadeloupe //